Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize