this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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