Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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