I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not ubering you a puppy
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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