Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
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doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
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I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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