I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize