if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Houston, we have a blender
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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