I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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