Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize