Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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