Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
In America we eat man semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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