His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize