I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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