Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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