Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize