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I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
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