Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..

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  (212): I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York.. http://tfl.nu/qpq0
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.

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  (603): he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me. http://tfl.nu/oqud
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues

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  (954): I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues http://tfl.nu/8qyh
  Replies (22) Good night (4483) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.

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  (732): I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there. http://tfl.nu/dxiw
  Replies (7) Good night (3864) Bad night (1040) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.

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  (585): at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter. http://tfl.nu/syxr
  Replies (4) Good night (995) Bad night (2343) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls

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  (508): I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls http://tfl.nu/izkj
  Replies (4) Good night (1899) Bad night (1277) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'

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  (215): just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.' http://tfl.nu/h44o
  Replies (58) Good night (4331) Bad night (1916)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.

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  (603): She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying. http://tfl.nu/6631
  Replies (6) Good night (740) Bad night (3553) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear

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  (510): I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear http://tfl.nu/ry3a
  Replies (9) Good night (2092) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face

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  (773): No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face http://tfl.nu/5tso
  Replies (4) Good night (518) Bad night (1491) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before

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  (248): Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before http://tfl.nu/sx14
  Replies (4) Good night (845) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent

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  (623): this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent http://tfl.nu/zc3d
  Replies (6) Good night (312) Bad night (785) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out

  (417): View more from Missouri

  You'd think the first few times would have been enough

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  (616): If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out (417): You'd think the first few times would have been enough http://tfl.nu/z7d7
  Replies (10) Good night (451) Bad night (1303)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary

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  (502): to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary http://tfl.nu/qy10
  Replies (3) Good night (813) Bad night (220) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.

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  (805): Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock. http://tfl.nu/vnzj
  Replies (1) Good night (357) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt

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