I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I wish I only lived at night.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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