On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize