Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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