I can text with my tongue
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize