her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
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No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
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After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize