he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize