im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize