Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
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