fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
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They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
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The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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