Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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