I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize