oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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