we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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