Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize