i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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