im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
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No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
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Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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