just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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