don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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