And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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