Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
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