I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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