her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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