after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I wear drunk well.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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