hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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