His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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