Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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