Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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