Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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