I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize