I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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