Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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