I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
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He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
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Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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