when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize