those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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